“The firm closed down today due to the lockdown. They say they might be able to open up again in a month or two but until then I’ll be out of a job”
“We’ll just have to dig into our savings and cut down on some things for now. And I can take some more hours at the store. We’ll get through this together”
“I can use the time at home to start on some of the projects we have lying around the house. And maybe I’ll learn to code that way I can get a promotion at the firm when I get back”
Arya can hear mom and dad talking at the garden table. She is helping grandma planting flowers in their flowerbed. She likes spending time with grandma.
Arya can hear mom yelling at dad again. Mom has been yelling at dad more and more since he started staying home all the time. At first it was fun to have dad staying at home, he wanted to play and hang out with her. Now he just lies on the couch all day watching TV or taking naps.
“You have been lying on that couch for four months now doing nothing. You have become a useless slob and a real deadbeat. I have been working fifty hours a week for the last three months trying to support us and you just lie there drinking beer we can’t afford. You haven’t started on any project, you haven’t learned to code. Are you even looking for work? The firm is not going to open up again anytime soon. You need to get a job…”
“Come Sweetie you don’t have to listen to mom and dad fighting” Grandma says as she picks up Arya “I think it’s time we get you to bed. Five year old girls need to go to bed early so they can grow up to be strong women”.
“I’m almost six grandma. I’m a big girl” Arya says, she wants to keep playing; mom said she would be right back and play with her.
“Yes you are Sweetie but you still need to go to bed and sleep so you can get even bigger” grandma smiles and carries her upstairs to her room.
“Is mom angry at dad?” Arya asks as she is placed in her bed. She doesn’t like when mom and dad are yelling.
“Your mom is working really hard for us all and she is doing a great job but it is hard for her. She is tired and exhausted and could really use some help. Your dad wants to help her but he is really sad and angry at himself and he feels useless and that makes him even sadder and then he doesn't help because he doesn’t feel like he can help her. But they love each other very much and they will figure it out together. You don’t have to worry about it, you just have to be happy and cute as you always are” Grandma explains and kisses her goodnight.
But Arya can still hear mom and dad fight downstairs. Dad is also yelling now. She can’t hear their words but she can hear them. She wishes that they would stop.
“...No, Patrick, Mayonnaise is not an instrument…”
“Patrick is so silly” Arya giggles at the TV while playing in the living room “don’t you think daddy?”
A few grunts come from dad sleeping on the couch before he continues to snore softly.
“Daddy are you sleeping?” Arya crawls up on the couch to her dad “daddy you are sleeping again”.
“Arya, please not now” dad grunts without waking up too much “go find grandma”.
“I’ll get her” grandma rushes into living room and picks her up. “Come Sweetie, let’s get you something to eat and then we can go trick or treating. We’ll let dad sleep for now”.
Arya gets carried out in the kitchen. Dad said he was going trick or treating with them but now he sleeps again. Grandma gives her a plate of food she can eat. And then starts to prepare her costume for an easy dress up. She is going as a dog princess, with floppy ears, skirt and tiara. Dad was supposed to be a dog king.
“Are you done eating? Then let us get you dressed go outside” grandma says and wipes her mouth and face.
Grandma dresses as an old dog lady with white hair and glasses. Arya thinks she looks funny. Together they walk around the neighbourhood. They always go around the neighbourhood for Halloween. But this year is slightly different. Less than half of the houses are decorated and there aren’t as many out trick or treating. She has to walk up to the doors alone and when she comes back grandma wipes her hands and face. It’s not as fun as she remembered. They bump into a man that came around a corner and then grandma covers her face and grabs her hand.
“Come Sweetie, let’s get you home” grandma says and her voice sounds different. Grandma walks her home very fast.
“Daddy, daddy, where’s grandma” Arya asks, pulling at her dad’s arm. She hasn’t seen grandma for two weeks. She hasn’t seen grandma since Halloween and they haven’t said where she is. Dad looks sad as he lifts her up on his knee.
“I’m sorry princess but grandma is very sick...” his voice breaks but he quickly stifles it to not sound weak “a man got grandma sick and she is at the hospital trying to get better. But it is a disease that is very bad for old people like grandma. Grandma might not come home again and we can’t go see her or we’ll also get sick. Mom and I pray really hard for her … but she might die”.
She looks up at dad with big teary eyes “grandma is dying?” She doesn't want grandma to die. She wants grandma here with them.
“Many doctors, scientists and nurses are doing their best to save grandma and fight this disease. But we have to accept that Grandma might not survive this. All we can do is pray and hope that she gets better” dad says.
“I want grandma. I don’t want her to die” she cries.
“I know, princess, I know. But if she dies she is going up to heaven to be with grandpa again and that is okay. We all are going to die someday and it is therefore important that we appreciate all the days we have with each other as much as we can” dad gives her a big hug and just sits with her.
Mom steps in through the door with snow in her hair.
“Mommy I’m hungry. When do we eat?” Arya runs towards her mom. She is hungry. Grandma used to give her snack all the time but dad keeps forgetting.
“YOU HAVEN’T STARTED ON DINNER? ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FEED OUR DAUGHTER. BUT YOU CAN’T DO THAT. YOU LIE ON YOUR FAT ASS ALL DAY DOING NOTHING WHILE I DO EVERYTHING. I CAN’T… I can’t do this anymore” mom yells louder than she has done before. Then she sits down crying on the floor without taking her jacket and shoes on “I can’t work this much anymore. I don’t sleep. I barely eat. I have no time to relax” her words fade out.
Dad gets up without a word and helps mom to the bedroom.
“Did I do something wrong?” Arya asks with tears in her eyes as dad returns. She got really scared when mom started to yell. She has never heard mom yell so loud before.
“No princess, you did nothing wrong, you are perfect. Dad is the one mom is mad at. Let’s get you something to eat” he carries Arya out to the kitchen and makes her some sandwiches with her. “You can sleep with mom tonight. I think mom could use it” dad says as they eat.
Dad sits with his computer on the couch while a Christmas movie plays on the TV. Arya lies on the floor watching the movie.
“Daddy when is it Christmas?” she asks. She loves Christmas. Mom always writes letters with her to Santa. And Grandma takes her around town to see Christmas tree, go sledding and make snow angels.
Dad puts the computer away and takes Arya up on his lap “there are only twenty days left until Christmas eve but this year Christmas will be different. You know how I have been home and mom has been working all the time. That is because I lost my job and couldn’t find a new one. Mom has worked very hard trying to earn us enough money so we could eat and keep our house. But now mom can’t work anymore. She is too tired to get out of bed. And with grandma in the hospital we don’t have any more money. This year we don’t have money for a Christmas tree or food or presents. And because of the disease that got grandma sick we can’t visit your cousins. It is only going to be you, mom and me” he explains.
“But what about Santa? Isn’t he coming with presents? Haven’t I been a good girl?” Arya asks looking at her dad with big sad eyes. She hasn’t made any trouble and she always help out men grandma asks her to. And she started school this year like big girls do without making trouble.
“You have been a very good girl. You are one of Santa’s favourite children and of course Santa will bring you a present. But mom and dad don’t have money to give you presents or a Christmas” Dad doesn’t look happy as he say this. “Have you written to Santa yet about what you wish for? He needs your letter soon”.
“I’ll write him now” Arya jumps off dad’s lap and runs to her room. She grabs several coloured pens and paper and lies down on the floor to write.
Dear Santa
This year my family can’t afford having Christmas. Dad has been out of work for about nine months and hasn't been able to get a new job. Mom has worked very hard but now she has gotten too tired to continue. She can’t work anymore right now and just lies in her bed sleeping. Grandma has gotten the disease and dad says she might die and we might not see her again. I miss grandma very much; she is always really good to me and takes good care of me. And I would really like mom and dad to be happy again like they were before the disease came. I have been a very good girl that is what my dad says. So Santa I could really use your help this year, can you please help us? Can you help dad get a job? Can you make grandma or mom better? Can you help us have Christmas with our family? Or can you help get rid of the disease outside? That is all I wish for this year.
Thank you very much sincerely Arya
She writes on the paper or at least that is what it would read if she knew how to write. But mom has always said that it doesn’t matter if others can read what it says. Santa always knows what you are writing even if you can’t write, that is one of Santa’s magical powers. And as she finishes the letter to Santa she runs out to her dad with it.
“Daddy I wrote Santa a letter” she proudly shows the letter that she has scribbled with at least five different colours.
“And what do you wish from Santa?” dad asks trying to read the letter.
“I asked him to help you get a job and to mommy and grandma get better and to bring us Christmas” Arya explains showing it on the letter.
“That is a good letter. I will send it to Santa for you later. But now let us go make you and mom some food” Dad takes Arya with him out in the kitchen and together they make a couple of sandwiches.
Arya takes a sandwich and runs to mom and dad’s bedroom to give it to mom. Mom has been lying in bed for the last three days without energy to do anything but go to the bathroom. Mom takes the sandwich and gives Arya a kiss before sending her back out to dad.
"Come Princes it's your bedtime. Santa won't bring your present until you have gone to bed" dad says to Arya "and it's also mom's bedtime".
They have spent the whole day playing together. Mom is feeling a little better day by day. Now she comes out to eat and play with them. But sometimes she starts crying or just stays in bed. Dad also seems happier; he has been doing a lot the last couple of days. Cleaning the house, moving stuff, talking on the phone and gone outside.
Dad carries Arya to her bed and tucks her in. "Now Princess, tomorrow is the day of Christmas eve. And it might be a little different but we still love you very much and next year it might all be better again. So go to sleep and dream of something very nice" he says and kisses her goodnight.
"I'll come to bed later honey. I have something to do" dad’s voice sounds from the hallway.
Arya is excited for tomorrow and hopes that Santa got her letter. She lies in her bed looking out the window at the stars above trying to see the sleigh fly by. She really hopes that Santa can save Christmas. Right now their house looks almost like it does on all the other days of the year. There is no decorated Christmas tree, nearly no decorations at all. Mom was too tired to put anything up and dad has been busy. The only decorations that have been put up are the drawings Arya did herself. If grandma had been home she would have made the house look really pretty. And she would have baked a bunch of cookies. Then all of sudden she hears it. It is the soft sound of jingle bells coming from outside. She sits up to look out of the window to see Santa. Her eyes dashes across the sky for five minutes but she can’t find him anywhere. The only thing she can see is a truck driving down the road. After looking for another five minutes she lies down and falls asleep happy to know Santa is flying around somewhere outside.
She wakes up early excited to see if Santa visited them after she fell asleep. She runs out of her room and down stairs where she stops in awe of what she sees. Her eyes light up looking at a beautiful Christmas tree. It is just a little taller then she is but it is beautiful with an angel on top. And there are several wrapped presents under the tree. Lights and hearts and garlands have been hung all around the house. And on the cupboard is a little elf city. The house smells like cookies and it is snowing outside.
“Mommy, Daddy, Santa’s been here” Arya calls and runs back upstairs to their bedroom. “Wake up, wake up. Santa’s been here. Come on mommy”. She pulls mom out of the bed and downstairs. Dad was nowhere to see. “Look mom, Santa’s been here. I wished he would save Christmas and he did”.
Mom looks confused “where’s dad Sweetie?” she asks.
“I don’t know mommy” Arya says and looks around the living room.
Mom takes out her phone and calls dad “Honey where are you? Did you decorate the house? Ok, then when are you coming home?” she hangs up. “Dad says he’ll be home later but he left us some snacks in the fridge”.
There are sandwiches, pizza rolls, cookies, chocolate and more. It looks like dad is planning on cooking their traditional Christmas dinner. Santa must have brought it all to their house for dad said they couldn’t afford it. They take some food and cosy up in the living room with a good family Christmas move while they wait for dad to come home. Just mom and Arya with a warm blanket around them. This feels like Christmas like it should be.
“I’m home” dad walks in through the door at noon with grandma right behind him “and look who I’ve got with me”.
“Grandma you’re home” Arya runs past dad right to grandma “Santa made my wish come true. He made you better” she says giving grandma a big hug.
“Honey what’s going on? How can we afford this” mom asks surprised and happy to see grandma.
“I got a job. A week ago an old friend called me with an opening at his firm with a higher salary than the old job. And then the hospital called saying grandma was improving and she could come home for Christmas. I wanted to surprise you” dad says and hugs mom.
“That is what I wished for” Arya whispers to grandma.
“I’m glad you did Sweetie. This is better than staying at the hospital. I just wish the others could be here with us as well” Grandma says and gives Arya another big hug “now let’s go start on the dinner for tonight. A good home cooked meal will be a nice change”.
Arya enjoys how her entire family is finally with her again and nobody is sick or fighting. It’s been a long year. She can hardly remember most of it but she does remember that it hasn’t been much fun. Mom and grandma makes the best dinner ever. Dad hooks his computer up to the TV and places it at the far end of the table. And there on the big screen is all of mom’s family. Her other grandpa and grandma, her aunties and uncles and all of her cousins. She can’t play with them but they are there. Everyone is having Christmas separate but together. They laugh and eat and have a great evening.
And as she has been put to bed that night she looks up at the stars like she did the night before “thank you Santa for helping my dad and mom and for bringing grandma home again. And merry Christmas”.
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